Sleepless Nights

Since my return from Japan I have been having sleepless nights. The first and second night I slept like a fucking baby. But after that it has been really late nights of me doing absolutely nothing. I have been staying up till 2 o'clock in the morning just watching old and new shows. It has done nothing for my intelligence and I would love to be smarter than I am right now. And with school starting I will like to gain a tremendous amount of focus that I do not have at the moment. Gaining the ability to get off my fat ass would be a plus. Since my sleepless nights are gaining in number I am trying to figure out a way to make them more productive. My paintings are usually just me putting tape on things, but once in a blue moon I create something that doesn't involve tape.Tonight I decided to complete one of my painting projects I started MONTHS ago.  I actually like this one a lot. The first painted I completed on Saturday or Sunday was a total disaster. The image I imagined in my head wasn't transferring to canvas. The second one I completed that night wasn't what I expected it to be, but I had no expectation on how it should look. My thought process was I wanted to create something which reminded me why I painted.  It reminded of how difficult it is too see the good in life when we focus on the bad. Painting is a passion of mine, and one day I hope to makes patterns and clothes that are a reflection of me. 

This is the first painted I tried to complete after a 3,4 month hiatus. It just didn't make me feel good, but I do love the shredded rose petals.

This is the art work that reminded me to look past the darkness and see the color in life.

This is the one I completed today and shall be VERY tired at work in 2 hours. Maybe I won't who knows. I stayed up for two days straight and felt fine until I rested my head on a pillow.

ANSSKRMH

P.S. Hopefully I find a way to sleep at night. I don't want to go crazy.